Study "abit" Day, Gym and ISA Meeting 1

Woke up at round 12.30pm plus and usual went to dig the freezer for frozen stuff to bake again. After the lunch and lazing around, it was already 2pm. Force myself to start reading on proj. mgmt. and did some little note-taking on the equations to be done. Was kind of hurt when my housemates went to the supermarket and didn't even asked or tell me about it. It's really kind of hurting to see some people you call friends everyday and sometimes they treat you as if you don't exist at all... I didn't want to bother myself too much about such stuff, so I went to the gym.

Stayed on bout only half hour plus, running on the trademill and doing some sit-ups before rushing back. I knew Ph was in the library and wanted to photocopy the notes for him and also to see him awhile before my ISA meeting. Anyway, met Stacy at the Student Union, before we all went up to the North Unit Media Meeting room for the meeting. It was rather short and not much was discussed cause the person to hand over to me wasn't around. But I could foresee myself getting busier next sem as Im already am now. Being the Publications Officer for both Photography Club and ISA was more tedious as newsletters had to be out every fortnight! It's okay, I'll try my best, at most sleep less and keeping myself busy will stop me from thinking about someone who will be back in s'pore by that time...

Anyway, as my own quotables say: "You may capture my heart, but can you keep it with you?" I realised that not having too much feelings for him makes me feel better when he's not around. So from then on, I don't feel very upset when he's not around or don't contact me, it probably is much better this way...

Catechumen Ceremony, writing my article for EMIT & Dinner with "u-know-who"

Yap, today's Sunday Mass was my Catechumen Ceremony in church. Tigger couldn't wake up in time and so Ph sent me instead. He had asked if I wanted him to record the whole thing, but I thought so otherwise cause I was afraid he might feel uncomfortable. Anway I reached at round 9.28am and father and Helen were waiting near the entrance for me already.

The bell rang and father walked in first to start the mass while helen and I waited outside. After some starting prayers and word, he called us and we both walked in to the alter together... Lucky we could hold our scripts during the ceremony and as father introduced me. I was really nervous standing on the alter stage with so many people looking at me, I didn't dare look up at all. The ceremony included confirming me as a catechumen, that is like from a beginner to advance level before the actual baptism. So sweet that he mentioned my mum too. It included Helen using oil to make the sign of the cross on my eyes, ears, heart and legs to guide me to the path of Jesus. Anyway, I took photos with them after service and with catechumist Margerat and her husband..

Ph was sweet enough to make breakfast for us, though it was only simple stuff, it was the thought that counts. Anyway after a little chat, we both went back to our own place to sleep longer due to the short sleeping hours we had again. I woke up a little later to continue my EMIT article and realised that I kept straying away from the topic. It was really frustrating because I wasn't happy with what I had written at all... Well, later at night we had dinner together and I made beehoon soup... At night was a quick hug and bye before going back studying...

Potluck Party and Karaoke Night at Friend's House

Aw shit, I always have to start my blog about him, yes - Ph! I don't have a choice because most of my life revolves around him lately. Anyway, he woke up rather early today to study. At about 9am plus, guess he couldn't take the tiredness, I continued my sleep while he went back to his place to nap. Due to the many days of little sleep, I could only drag myself out of bed at round 12.30pm. Made myself some food before I went to school to surf net and check email again. Yes, the bloody network is down again!

Has anyone ever wondered why my blog dates and time are always 11.50pm something, well cause I amended them, only a crazy person will have time to update their blog same time everyday... Anyway, guess we had the same feeling that seeing too much of each other is just not right. Thus, we stayed away till he came over at 5pm to help me with my fruit salad for the potluck party. Guy's so easy, no need cook just bring liquor can already...

Arrived at my friend evon's BF's house at round 7.30pm and saw quite a number of people whom I have seen but don't know. Not everyone brought food and within awhile, most of it were gone. Samantha's cake was nice though and filling... Was happy I can use my voice again! Yes, they had ktv in their house! Too bad there were too few varieties of CD's, but it was fun too anyway... Sorry to admit that I didn't have too good impressions of SOME s'porean girls because they were not so friendly and I sometimes feel left out when with them. But meeting Samantha, Evon, Stacy and Denise really changed my opinion. Though I barely know them except my dear "Tigger-Denise", they really make you feel you are one of them. We could go round hugging and teasing each other like friends who have known each other for a long time... Cheers to you girls if you are reading this, right Tigger? ;p

Anyway, the night was spent chatting around and singing ktv with my girl friends and Ph was downstairs most of the time playing cards and drinking. He did leave for awhile to pick a friend and her cousin from Morwell train station. People were kind of curious about us too and some asked Denise. Well, we didn't want to show much, but didn't bother to hide it too. Smart fella knew I could drive him home so he could drink as much as he wanted, said I was his "ahmad". When we were leaving, they were kind of like teasing us while saying goodbye, haha, real playful bunch... Untill I reached home only did I realised I had forgotten to bring the fruit bowl back... well.. another day perhaps!

Movie Day "The Day After Tomorrow" & Getting Potluck Stuff...

PH had to wake up at 8.30am cause he was sending Hannah and her cousin to Morwell Train Station and Hongliang to Latrobe Valley Press. I couldn't sleep after waking up cause of the pill again. Anyway he went home to bath and to school to get tickets before coming over to find me and guess he was tired cause he fell sound asleep as soon after, I got up and bath and decide to let him sleep longer caused he looked so tired. We were supposed to eat outside, instead I cook up something for us and after that we went Midvalley...

We were catching the 2pm show and so coincidence we saw Cheryl, Max and Joo there also, they were also watching the same movie... The movie was nice but kind of a little exaggerating too, but at least it was action-packed throughout. After the movie we met Cheryl they all again outside and it was only then she realised who I came to watch movie with cause PH was having the very rugged look and wore his specs that day.. Well, we went on to pick Hongliang at 4.30pm and accidently he saw me touching PH's hair and later asked what was going on between us. We realised that it's kind of hard to hide it from people, they would soon know anyway...

Dinner was something cooked by 2 of us. PH made pineapple rice and I cooked the veggies. It was really funny as I videocam him cooking and he did the same... We were laughing at the way our voices sound in the video, it was very cartoon like... After that we laze around watching TV and night was spent trying to get some studying done... He keeps thinking that he was distracting me from studying, but I told him not to worry. Wanted to sleep earlier cause we were tired, but my mum called at round 2am and after some lazing around and talk, it was round 4am before really getting to sleep... Hope Im not getting too sensitive again, but this relationship does have a little strain on me, cause of some of the things he says sometimes... :|

At Home, Catechism Class, Saloon Night

Chatted a whole night with PH cause he stayed over. I realised he got lots of things to talk and ask about me cause he says he just wants to find out more about me. But we always stray on to the topic of what will happen to us when he goes back to S'pore. And it always leads to some unhappiness, so we promise not to talk about it anymore... It was nice to give the person you like a morning hug before he went off. Said he was going to the library to study. We should have some time free for ourselves too. As I didn't really have the mood to study yet, I just surt Internet the whole day and printed tutorial solutions. Fell asleep halfway cause I barely slept 4 hours...

Denise and Evon came over awhile to leave their housemates birthday cake at my place for awhile, they came to collected it later as I was falling asleep. Anyway, got awoken by my friend who wanted to borrow my jacket for the Mt. Buller trip. It was okay cause I was gonna get up soon anyway. Quickly rushed to bath at round 6pm and made a quick dinner before rushing to meet Melissa at the carpark for Catechism class... I was so guilty as my mind wasn;t really paying attention that night; you could have guessed who was on my mind... The Catechumen ceremony at church this Sunday was kind of confirmed. Today's session ended up quite early and I was eager to go back soon after tea to change, yeah Saloon, so long didn't go clubbing already...

Was putting on my make-up when PH came over shortly round 10.15pm. He gave me a shock, but anyway he didn't wanna go cause he said he doesn't usually like to go clubbing with the girl he likes. Weird though, but he says he will be there next thursday, cause that's the comment culture for he and his friend... Lenore came over and we brave the damn cold as we walked over to the Saloon... Met cheryl and evon, stacy they all inside too... There was no band but somehow, the kick wasn't much to dance, so we took wuite some time before we actually went down to the dance floor. PH was caring, he said it was raining and volunteered to come walk us back and Lenore was teasing me saying he was so sweet as he brought umbrella's to come walk us back at round 12.30an plus...

As usual, we chatted till the wee hours of the morning before sleeping again... He told me something that made me really upset, it wasn't about us; It was a so-call friend of mine whom he said I was nice to him/her and that person put a fake front in front of me and behind my back said bad things about me like I was very bitchy in the way I talked. PH said I was probably too direct and straight-forward. No matter what I tried I couldn't get him to tell me who it was. I could roughly guess who is it, but I don't care. PH told me not to bother too much also and just to live my life happily cause it was impossible going round pleasing every damn person. He admits too that he finds it silly why some girls get jealous and like to gossip. As long as I got assurance from him that it wasn't any of my close friends, I was contented enough... He just told me not to be so naive and think too simple of everyone...

Usual Lecture Day, Midvalley, ISA Meeting - Publications Officers Position

Couldn't get up for up 9am for my last gco2815 lecture, was too tired so I msgged Noor and told her I was not going. Anyway woke up at 10.45am and went for my last gco3807 lecture. Was raining outside and since I was lazy to bring an umbrella, I wore a cap instead. Walking into the lecture hall, I was hoping to look up and see PH but instead saw that botak. =/ PH was late for class, but he look as usual so cool when he walked in. I was telling Hannah in the middle of the lecture that I officially broke up with my BF and I asked her to guess why. She said no need to guess because my eyes were straying to the direction of that person already when I was talking to her... haha... =) She was telling me the gummy bear "hen hao zhuan" because I was so obvious... I had promised a free packet of gummy bear for her if she guessed correctly...

Anyway PH wanted to go to the library to study after lecture so I decided to go to Midvalley with Hannah and Ginnie. I bought a Ripcurl wallet and t-shirt at the surf shop just shortly after arriving. We then gave ourselves a treat of steak and seafood platter, it was nice but so much we couldn't finish it. Went to Safeway after that and bought some groceries. I remembered someone told me he likes "kebabs" but didn't buy them, so I got them instead... Went to catch the 5.12pm bus because I had to rush back for the ISA(Int'l Students Association) Committee Meeting and Elections. Called PH to come to Bineshell accompany me back cause it was raining, but guess didn't answer...

Walked quickly back home after I reached cause I had to put my frozen stuff in the fridge before I go for the meeting. Had a quick change of jacket cause it was freezing outside. The meeting was quite short and some issues discussed, in the end I landed up being the ISA Publications Officer also, same as in Photography Club... Middle of the meeting, I got msgges from PH and Denise was teasing me that I was always so "busy"... Said he didn't hear his phone cause it was in silent mode and he did miss me... =) He always complain I write bad things about him in my blog, so here goes dear: you are nice, caring, sweet and so cute, I like you now and hope to love you in future and hopefully be together always.. Happy? =)

People in my campus must be wondering what hell of a relationship are we having, okay they wanna know fine, we are having a short term un-disclosed relationship before he goes back s'pore end june. It's nobody's fault that we had to meet so late and like each other. We did tell each other how nice it would be if he had come Gippsland later or I had come over earlier. I don't care about any of the gossips or comments people around the campus say anymore. Yes, I trust him and we just wanna spend the remaining days we have here being happy together and I actually do hope we would still be together end year when I go back s'pore...

Usual Lesson Day, Official Break-up and being =) for awhile...

Damn the stupid uni Virtual Private Network again! Got disconnected before I could republish my blog and here I have to type every damn thing all over again. So to make it short, the pill didn't have any effects on me last night cause I took it early yesterday maybe, so when the alarm rang this morning I almost didn't want to wake up. Today was the last lecture and tutorial of gco2822. I almost doze off and the lecturer sort of like purposely talk in front of me so I wouldn't dose off. hee.. ;p

Sam msgged me during my dbms lecture wishing me gd afternoon and asked what I was doing. I told him I was having my lecture and also not to love me so much cause I was kind of having a guilty yet bugging feeling about him. He then replied we should break up and then I was crazy and alwayz couldn't make up my mind. Arh, well that was better too, I should finally give up on him and really hope that he stays out of my life since I don't really have feelings for him. He was always putting the blame on me and never thought of how bad he used to treat me... And I should stop being used to just wanting to have a BF...

Anyway, I told PH about the whole matter and he asked me not to think too much and concentrate on exams. I told him not to worry and nothing will affect my exams. But the special friendship we had did bother me a little. We had a talk to sort things out and decide just to spend the remaining time happy together and let fate decide when he goes back to S'pore. He said he'll try to extend his flight longer, but I still somehow had doubts about his personality. Was angry with PH's friend for saying I was buggin PH. Come on, Im not so desperate and I don't have to be! Was even more annoyed by my friend when he icq and said he has yet another thing he doesn't want to tell me. Why in the first place let me know you had something you didn't want to tell me? That left me in more doubts cause I know that something was definitely about PH. Im so vexed and bad mood I just have to stop thinking about anything now...

Finishing up gco2815 assmnt, Gym and Supper?

I woke up at 12pm plus in sort of a daze. I was still wondering about what happened about our chat last night... I don't know if I did the right thing and decision to let something I know might not have a future, start... I still wonder though about what his friend said about him being a playboy; is it true or not? Anyway, he(PH) called asking if I needed anything cause he was going out to get some stuff. He didn't wana ask me along cause he wanted me to stay home and finish up the last question in my assignment...

As usual, started surfing the net again and barely touching my work. Was glad to receive a letter from my dear friend Cindy in s'pore. So sweet she and her BF, her eye's always glow when she talks about him. Well, I wasted the whole day after lunch and didn't do much to solve the last question, it was full of errors. Couldn't take it anymore and so went to the gym for a workout at 5pm plus. Finally ran longer and sweat more; good also, can burn more fat... Dinner was instant noodles...

Was thinking about the stupid last question and its errors and finally managed to solve it at about 9pm. Till the touching up and re-testing all the questions was done, it was like almost 10pm already... Really happy to submit the last assignment for the semester, but then again, there are still the exams to come... Had supper of udong and miso soup cooked by someone at his place... We chatted awhile after that and I actually gave the Mt. Buller trip a miss cause he wanted us to have time together for the weekend. Im actually trying hard to put in too much feelings cause he's eventually going back s'pore soon... Sometimes I really don't know what I should do... Anyway, had a chat with my guy friend from brisbane and sam was mad again when he called and couldn't get through. This is another problem I have, I don't really have feelings for him anymore, but I don't wana totally lose contact with him either. Oh god, what am I gona do? =\

Sunday mass, gco2815 assignment & movie+chat night

My head was swirling when I go out of bed, barely slept 3 hours plus and then got up for church. Went to wake PH up at 9.15am and he looked really funny with his "just got out of bed" look. He was sending me to church. Anyway, there was a Youth thing at the church this morning and I told PH to pick me up at 10.30am so I was rather panicked when service ended at 10.50am instead. However, he couldn't come pick me cause his friend had borrowed his car.

We then met at foodworks to buy some things, went back to my house and I cooked up some stuff for our lunch. Chatted awhile and he barely went home 10 minutes when I realised I had a load of overdued library books and one of them was with him. So had to go find him again and the thick skin said I missed him ;/ we went to library together then. He was mean pretending to not wana carry the books for me. Later went home and continued debugging the errors in my database assignment again.
As usual slowly strayed out of work and went on to read my emails and update my blog. Dinner was some baked stuff cause I was lazy to cook. Went to bath at round 10pm and just finished putting my cream when PH came over. We were gona watch a movie...

I somehow had the mixed feelings again caused he asked if I would miss him when he went back s'pore. I hate the thought that he asked this sort of things and made me have some feelings again. He does admit he still likes me cause I thought he was joking all the while. The movie turned into a long chat which lasted till the wee hours of the morning before he went back. We were sad that we didn't meet earlier cause I didn't come over gippsland last year, else we would have graduted at the same time. We aren't really together but just a tiny wee bit kind of more than friends.

As usual again leave it to fate to see if we do get together at the end of the year. But I can't help pondering about the bad things I heard about him being a playboy, so I don't really wana put much feelings in. However I do feel a little guilty towards sam and decide to tell the whole matter to him and let him decide if he still wants to get back, which I don't want actually... cause I know he's not the one meant for me...

Melbourne City Trip - Big Spending Day!! =|

It was a pretty cold morning when I woke up at 8am, as usual I needed more than 1/2 hours to dress up and get ready. Was too lazy to bring a thick jacket as the weather forecast wasn't too cold. Anyway reached city at round 10 past 11am and walked from vic market towards mcdonalds for breakfast. Barely even 5 minutes later I fell in love with Levi's jacket displayed inside a shop and it was going at an incredible price of $39(it's real lah ok), guess they were clearing old stock and was even more happy when paid only $28 s there was a further discount. I really wondered if the sales girl had type the wrong price... Had mcD breakfast with Lenore and guess what! I met Thomas Ong outside mcD having tea. Took a photo and had a short chat with him cause I got to know him when I was working in the travel firm in s'pore. (S'poreans will know he was an actor.) Haha my GF was going gaga saying he's handsome...

We then headed down Myers to meet Sam and then took the tram to Smith Street and back to Myers, Sports Girl and Mango later. Had early dinner at the China Bar in town. I could't control myself again from shopping and bought an adidas jacket, converse shoes and bag, fila shirt, quiksilver beanie and 2 knit wear blouses for the whole trip. It was kind of worth it though cause I spent like $192 for 10 items. The adidas jacket and fila shirt was kids size, thus it was cheaper and converse I got the pair of shoes at 1/2 price cause Sam had bought 1 pair and a 2nd pair was going at 1/2 price..

Back home at round 8.30 and till I bath, unpack my things and had dinner it was already 10.30pm plus 11pm. Got a msg and miss call from PH and he came over find me and we chatted for awhile... I don't know if I should believe some of the bad things I hear about him though I still have some feelings for him, but probably out it aside for awhile and concentrate on the coming events and exams... Back to doing my last assignment and will try to sleep early cause I wana go church tom.. =)

Home doing gco2815 Assignment Day =(

Woke up at 9am today due to the effects of the slimming pill again. Anyway, it's great to wake up early too cause there's lots of time to do work then. Starting today will refrain from taking meat on fridays. Have to get used to it first before I get baptised. Anyway, after breakfast I headed straight to my room and suft net awhile before struggling to start my database assignment.

Nothing much to write today except I was happy enough I could crack my head through and manage to finish 3 out of the 5 questions. Stupid programming codes, they always make me sick. Couldn't watch VCD with PH cause I was still doing my assignment. Went to find him take 5 in the cold but he wasn't in. My brain is so exhausted now I wana sleep. Anyway, going to melbourne city for a day trip again tommorrow. Lenore will be coming with me and sam wants to bring his friend along to intro to her. Haha, I told him tell his friend no chance lah. Anyway, just make friends no harm. Shucks, so sian cause not much money for shopping and I dare not ask from my dad yet... =( Can see cannot buy, so sad...

Enough for today as I wana sleep soon... Wish myself a happy trip tommorrow... ;p

Tutorial Day, gco3601 & gco 3807 assignment submission

Slept only like 4 to 5 hours per day the last few days cause I had to rush to finish up the two assignments due on May 21. This time I didn't really pay attention in gco3807 tutorial cause I was surfing the net and doing research for my assignment. After that headed down to the Cafe and Student Union to kpo and chat awhile with friends before going off with PH. Had asked him to pick me up after catachism class cause I wana go home earlier to finish up my work. Showed him the way to my catachist house before he sent me back home...

Went for the last gco3601 in the afternoon and also cause I wanted to get my first assignment back from the lecturer. He was really nice, I wasn't happy with the C grade and I couldn't really explain how my report was related to e-commerce, but he said the report was nicely done and just simply changed the mark to 70 so that I could get a D. In case u guys out there reading who doesn't know about my uni grading methods, C-credit and D-distinction. He's much better than the nasty lady who die also don't help to amend my accounting module grade.

Evening was spent in com lab rushing the last few questions of my gco3807 assignment and rushing back at 7pm cause I gotta meet melissa at 7.20pm to go for catachism class. The night's class was theory base and I was guilty cause I almost couldn't keep my eyes open when peter was talking about the sacrements. Went to say hi to PH when I got back campus and we will be catching a VCD movie on friday night if I do complete a certain % of my last gco2815 assignment... Network was finally working in our house and happily touch up on gco3807 before submitting it...

Lecture Day, Denise Birthday & XML Assignment Completion

Happily skipped the gco2815 tutorial and went for the 12pm gco3807 lecture. As usual almost fell asleep again. Anyway after that went Photography Club booth awhile and realise we are short of many people going for the Mt. Buller trip. I just booked a place with Lyell first. Had to go com lab suft net cause the stupid network at my house is still not working!! Gco3601 lecture was a bore again and the tips that the lecturer gave for the exams was not much help, but at least the paper didn't look too difficult. Headed back to com lab after that to debug my XML codes...

Rushed home at 6pm to out my stuff and touch up a little before going to wait for a friend to pick me up. It was Denise's birthday and we went to Traralgon a kind of cafe or sort to have dinner. Somehow feel quite an envy for them, they all have cars and seem to be able to go anywhere they want. Can't help but think sometimes they kind of like belong to the upper class. But they are nice and friendly people, we chatted on after dinner and I was really full with the pasta and the cake somemore. The chat however did make me miss s'pore somehow and I can't help the thought of sometimes wanting to go back there after graduation since the friends I know here all going back s'pore and I do miss my old work place a little and my friends as well. My mum told me not to fret now and decide end of the year...

Well, night was spent goning bonkers with my XML assignment again and I was really happy that I manage to finished it at 3.30am with all the errors and stuff. Not wanting to look at it anymore, I quickly make a last check that everything was ok and saved the files and went to sleep... My brain had enough for the day... :|

Usual Lesson Day and "XML Jamming Night"

Shucks, another day of lessons... today the gco2822 multimedia lecture was back to the black guy again, Prof. Dooley wasn't teaching this week. We always had no idea about his lectures cause he was always mumbling to himself. He keeps saying you take this and put here and this and put there, arh don't what the hell he's talking about. Anyway, skipped gco2815 lecture halfway because it was so theory based. Went to com lab to surt net awhile and got some XML examples for my assignment. Went to find that stupid lady about my afw1003 grade but the nasty lady didn't want to give way at all.

Forced myself to go to the gym in the evening cause I feel I have been snacking abit too much lately and was feeling bulging alittle. The gym was packed in evenings and didn't feel quite comformtable with so many people around; So I left in less than an hour. A friend "he" called and asked me when I want to get the ciggies from him. His friend had bought a pack back for him from Singapore Airport. Went over to get the stuff from him and we chatted a little.

Night was spent writing XML codes till my eyes almost joined together. Stupid XML Validator software needed a registration key which had to be sent through email and how was I supposed to get one when I can't go online! Anyway, slept at 4am and decided to skip the gco2815 tutorial...

Journey back Gippsland and Buying Groceries Day...

Set my alarm at 7am but was so tired couldn't wake up on time and woke up at 8am instead. Sam missed his 8.30am class cause he wanted to send me down Flinder's Street to take the train back to Gippsland. Anyway, he kind of gave me quick hug before I left for the Vline platform. I was still angry with him and didn't really feel if I wanted to get back together...

The train journey seem a long one, funny how the change of coaches in the past seem much more faster. It seem like eternity before I eventually reached Mowell at 2.35pm. Went to get groceries from Coles and boy were they heavy. Though of calling up a friend to pick me up but thought so otherwise.

Dinner was Hokkien Fried Noodles I cooked myself, which was not too bad and back to doing my gco3807 assignment again. Managed to finish question 1 and 2, the stupid uni wireless network is down again... Darn, this kind of things will never happen in the polytechnics in s'pore... ;|

Vic Market and Myers Shopping, Buying of Crucifix & Sunday Mass

Got up at round 10am and went to bath in the cold. Shops closed early on Sundays, so wanted to have more time to walk around. Met sam and we went to the restaurant he worked to have lunch. We took the train down town and he was kind of caring during the journey, we talked about lots of things including the thought of settling down in 3 or 4 years time.. But I'll still leave it to fate.. Cause Im not too sure about my feelings for him and our compaitability. Anyway, we later took the tram to Victoria Market cause he wanted to get some winter gloves and scarfs and just to walk around.

I had thought that Myers had a big sale going on, so we went to check out the clothes there and boy were they expensive! Sale like no sale at all, after discounts, the jackets and stuff were still like $200 over bucks.. Walked around the shops outside Myers before heading to St. Francis church for evening 4.30pm mass. Was glad sam was a christian and he didn't mind going with me to a catholic church. Anyway, I came across a silver crucifix (a cross with jesus) and liked it very much, so he bought it for me and I had it blessed by Father immediatly so I could wear it.. It was getting dark so we went to have dinner.

Night was spent watching a cantonese movie and I happened to browse though the messages in his handphone when I came across a "not so nice" message which he had sent to someone I thought was a guy friend. He finally came clean that it was his ex GF long before in JB and he had lied to me since January this year that it was a guy friend till I caught the msg he sent which implies that it was actually a girl. I couldn't stop crying and didn't want to listen to what he was saying. He kept holding me and saying sorry that he won't do it again, telling me that they were only just friends and she was all the way in JB, what could they have done...

I know that I felt angry cause I didn't think that he would do such things. But when I think of what I sometimes did to him was 10 times much worse; like having a crush for that someone in my uni. Even my close GFs, told me I couldn't be so selfish and expect that only I can do what I want... I still could not forgive him totally and still uncertain if we wana go back toether...

Melbourne Shopping Trip & Watching of TROY

Today was the melbourne shopping trip organized by the SLOs. Dragged myself out of bed at 7am, sleeping only a mere 3 hours didn't help much; had no choice cause I was rushing to finish up as much as I could for the 2 assignments due on May 21st. The trip somehow seem rather short and not long we reached Victoria Market and went on to walk around with my friends before we had lunch at China Bar in Swanston St. As usual I couldn't keep the secret and blurted out to my friends I was actually gonna meet my sam for a movie...

Almost got caught without having a MET card. Met Sam at round 2.20pm at Flinder's Street, we somehow feel abit strange at first, but the boundary was broken when he give me a sly smile and said, "Come lets cross the road.." We headed off to Chinatown to catch the movie "TROY". Things were pretty ok and after that we headed back towards Boxhill, grabbed mcdonalds for dinner and I went back home to my uncle's place cause he had to work at night in the China Bar restaurant in Boxhill. There wasn't much to be said between us, but Im still unsure about going back together...

Night was spent watching a past movie "Love on Diet" with Andy Lau and Sammi Cheng acting. It was a funny yet touching show, not a bad one...

Usual Lesson Day and Evening Catechism Class

Boy do I have loads of stuff to write today, the stupid school network cannot connect again last night so here I am bloggin when I'm supposed to be doing my assignments. Somehow the more you try to stay away from someone, the more you'll bump into them. Shit, I have to mention him again, but what to do? He's my classmate and Im bound to meet him in class right? Anyway, we accidently met in the morning while going for proj. mgmt. tutorial and walked to lab together, we even sat beside each other and I'm half sure gossip will travel again. My SLO even asked me if I was going steady with him and of cause I said no. Anyway I can't be bothered with what people wana pass around as long as we both know that we are just normal friends.

Well was rather surprised that my "gan ge-ge" actually left a comment for me, I thought after I left s'pore, he so busy till forget about me already. He's so handsome that even guys think he's macho and fall for him, haha.. ;p Anyway, it's quite right about what he say, don't worry gege, will study hard... Evening went for catachism class and was happy that in 2 or 3 weeks time a ceremony will be held in church to confirmed me a catechumen, that is what you are called before you get baptised as a catholic. Chatted with my mum and she told me my dad probably want me to stay on and do my honours, lets just hope he does well in his business... better get back to my assignments now, too much of blog a day makes me long-winded...

Usual Lesson Day and Nice chat with my friend in Brisbane

God my head is damn dizzy, it's 4am in the morning and I slept like 4hours only yesterday, my brain is already half asleep, so hope I don't type rubbish. Managed to finish my multimedia assignment and submitted it not wanting to look at it anymore. I got 3 more others waiting for me to do...

He came over last night as his Internet connection was down, ok I promise not to talk about him everyday! But I just had to say that I sure feel much better now that I treat him as a friend only... Anyway my guy friend called from Brisbane to chat and I asked him if he would be frighten if a girl gets too bold and direct with him, he said no and that he'll be happy instead if he likes that girl. But well, guess not everyone thinks the same...

My ex called too; Asked me if I missed him, I don't wana answer because I didn't wana hurt his feelings... My heart is just so tired, it needs a rest right now... So is my brain... Too many people, too many things, too little chances, too little time... Zzzzzzzz ('')

Release of Blog Address and Usual Lesson Day

Im so touched that my friends actually call me up and asked if I was okay after reading my blog, for those of you out there(u know who you are) "mueks", hugs and kisses to you... And thanks to my house mates cum friends whom I could talk to during that "dark" few days for their comments...Oops, this is like an award ceremony. To him: Sorry about the lie that no one knows my blog, actually my close friends all know about it...

It's pretty silly now to think back about why I felt so horrible the last few days over him. Im glad that things are all right now. Yeah, it was really crazy of me to expect anything in a week, probably cause I missed the feeling of being love after getting my feelings got hurt so many times by my ex. Lucky I get over things easily and my friends really made it better. He did mentioned I was too outright in things, but too bad, that's just me. Im not afraid to let people know of my feelings much less show it... This 'lion' is just different from other lions I met before. Oh well, glad he actually help me sort my brain and let me know that a handsome face is not the only thing u should fall in love with.

Anyway, enough of him else he'll think he's always on my mind, which he isn't now. There are better things to think off, like that someone in the city who's trying to salvage our relationship... and my pesky never ending assignments... To my caring friends out there: Im really fine and okay, no worries, I've got no one on my mind now except my dear family and friends... ;p

Midvalley Shopping and Hair Cut!

Went to Midvalley alone yesterday(coz it's already 2am; so refer it as yesterday). Cut my hair and shop around for my stuff. I had knew earlier he wouldn't have called at all to tell me if he could drive me there, my hunch was true most of the time. I have no idea why things turned out this way.

Probably it was my boldness that scared him off? But what could I do? That was my character. Or was it because he wasn't even really sure about his feelings in the first place. A once fairytale dream turned out into a bad dream I just want to forget now. Im still puzzled in the sudden change in him that he doesn't even reply my goodwill messages and never even say hi when he came over my house.

He had said he wanted to just be friends and see how things goes at the end of the year, but then I thought he would at least continue his care and concern as a friend here. But it doesn't seem so... I do respect his decision to stay as friends, but his coldness has made us seem like we are not even friends now... It probably was just a short term infatuation which he realised the feeling isn't there now... =(

A lonely day at home plus an "okay" evening...

Yesterday was "Home Alone" day except for Hermant being at home playing games. My friends went down to Melbourne City. Managed to connect to Internet at noon but Junya came and chit chat so no time write my blog. Anyway, kind of sort things out with him and he made it clear he was serious but just didn't want to have any commitment in case we both find someone else next semester. Well, true to some sense, but somehow still can't quite get over him.

Cooked dinner for him last night and guess it was pretty good cause he happily finished the dishes when I still had rice! But was happy though since he liked it... Chatted awhile after that and he went back to continue his assignment again. I should stop the thought of wanting to see or talk to him everyday, guess he wouldn't call this 2 days too, so Im gona go out myself to Traralgon tommorrow, probably a breathe of fresh air and being alone might help me not to think of him too much... ;|

Culture Night/e - before and usual off day

Kind of missed him when I didn't see him at tutorial. Anyway, last night was Culture Night event, evening was spent making up and changing at Lenore's place. Was kind of offended when he didn't even look up and say hi as I past him the tickets at the entrance, later he did came over for a photo and told me he didn't see me at all. Was I supposed to be happy he wasn't noticing every girl or what? The main course was not very nice except the desserts, there were also few performances. After that, most people went home for a change to Saloon. Met him over there and headed back to my place after an hour as the place was too crowded and stuffy.

The chat was one I had wished we didn't have at all. He actually hurt me unknowingly with the words he said. It was like some kind of contradiction that it's okay to like someone and not be together giving some reasons of sort. I kind of don't understand at all what exactly is in his mind.

Didn't really sleep much as I thought through the whole night and decided it was time to stop my feelings from getting deeper, probably not having anything to do with him at all would make things much better... ('_')

Usual Lesson Day and Handing up of DBMS A2

It's been like a hundred years since I had any feeling of being fortunate... How many times have someone you liked actually liked you back? Ha, I was pretty lucky in my case, I totally had no idea that the someone I had set eyes for actually felt for me too. It was probably some thanks to my friends teasing that he somehow knew a little about the feelings for him. Though I don't know how things will turn out, I somehow hope that he is "the one". It's been enough of getting hurt the last 2 years and Im kind of having little phobia for relationships but I think time will tell.

Anyway, I managed to rush finish my gco2815 assignment 2, just a little touching up to be done and I can well submit it. Sometimes love really works wonders huh, imagine I can finish drawing an ER diagram and about 100 over SQL statements in 4 hours straight just so I can give a lame excuse and go find him. Well, it did paid off cause he finally confessed his feelings which I didn't want to take it for granted at first.. Sweet dreams to me tonight! ;p

Usual Lesson Day and a Big Surprise?

Today was one of my happiest days... Previously I had set eyes on someone since the start of the semester in one of my lectures, he's tall and so cute he looks just like zaizai from F4. To bad a little bit too skinny.. haha ;p Anyway, got a surprise call last night that I didn't quite believe he had out of the blue asked me out for a movie. He accompanied me to get a dress and formal slippers for the Culture Night event. I just like to look into his cute eyes and smile... ;) as we shop through for groceries as well. Oh there I go dreaming again when someone's actually going back to his country in a month's time... So sad, if only I had come over "moo-moo land" a year ago... But ah well, let's just leave it to fate yah... ('',)

Sunday Mass and Melbourne Crown Casino Trip

Woke up on 8.30am on sunday for church, so tired as I slept only like 5hrs. Went to Traralgon with Denise to collect a friend's birthday cake and in the end landed up buying a pair of boots and a skirt from Traralgon Plaza. It was also the buffet trip to Crown Casino yesterday, upon reaching the first thing we girls do is to head for the toilet as usual, haha. Lingered around the clothes and music shop before going down for the buffet at 7.30pm. Food was not bad, they had roast beef/pork, wedges, fish fillets etc and boy I loved the sweet desserts. But enough was enough, I don't wana get fat, so eventually gossiped with Ginnie and Hannah about boys and a dare which I challenged Hannah to get the bunch of guys go play pool with us eventually came true, but the main actor vanished in awhile. So sadz arh :( Well, all was forgotten in awhile as we continue playing pool and then I bought a blouse from JayJays. Slept through the whole bus trip, contact lens so dry when I got home, I thought it was gona fall off...

Midvalley Movie Day and First Night of Catechism Class

Yesterday went for Catechism class, not bad, but only my ang moh friend called melissa also and I were the only youngsters there, the rest all old aunties and uncles. Anyway, was quite interesting, can't wait to go on for more and be able to go through all the sacrements soon. My nose piercing gave out some green pus today, was little yucky, lucky it's okay now. Anyway, today went to Mid Valley watch "50 First Dates" with Denise, was not bad and a touching love story; wished there were such patient and loving guys out there. Pooh's best friend "Tigger" was halfway sleeping throughout the movie... Wasn't really in good mood today, spent round $80 and see nothing, mostly foodstuff for next week, my house mates didn't wana cook already cause exams were coming... Next 2 days stuck at home forcing myself do assigments again..