Best friends, good friends, whatever friends.

I was browsing photos that some of my best friends had on friendster / facebook and I've gotta admit there's a pang of jealousy whenever I see them having close and jovial shots with their friends back home. It made me realised that I was still stuck at that certain time frame and ever since they left Australia, I never allowed myself to open up or get really close to other new friends that I've gotta know over the couple of years here. Was it because I am not willing to let go of the happy memories I had with my bestest girls or was it because after they left, I felt that I can never really feel comfortable in the presence of new friends again.

I once spoke to Eileen before, she asked me if I had any best friend. Then I realised I was dumbfounded, I told her I had many best friends, I mentioned my chabohs, I mentioned my pooh gang and of course the bunch of secondary school besties. Then she told me, "But mel, how come you have so many best friends? I thought there should only be one best friend and many good friends?" I truly understood what she meant, but never thought of that until now. I realised I never did have 1 best friend at a point in time at all, it was always 2-3 good friends. You remember how when we were younger and we used to write in each other's autograph book? It was funny because I always had like a list of 4-5 Best Friends and 8-10 Good friends' column to fill up. There never was anyone in particular called "my best friend". Funny does it? I'm pretty sure that's not a very good thing because you can never boast to someone; This is a photo of me and my best friend and know that he/she will say the same about you too, just you.

Well I guess I wasn't fortunate enough to get just one best friend. And even so, maybe I shouldn't feel that pang of jealousy too since I myself have many best friends, so my best friends themselves probably have other other friends that they call besties too, I suppose. But it's still hard sometimes because time might move on and the environment might change, but those special and close to my heart never changes. Then again I realised I do have one best friend, he was always known as "Pal" to me, was always there to lend a listening ear, always there to lend me a shoulder to cry on. But it doesn't help that his GF thinks otherwise about that idea.

And it probably makes sense that my besties have the right to have fun and good times with their own besties back home too. And I'm like a few thousand kilometres away from them anyway. But still, photos tell it all sometimes and it bites sometimes, it really does.