Saturday, July 30, 2005

LiLy'S biRtHdAY LaSt tHuRs, hOW cAn I nOt LoVe HiM?, FaCuLtY bRoChUrE oUT & oUR DanDeNoNG tRiP - jUsT u & mE!

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Just celebrated Lily's birthday for her on Thursday. She was a real happy and delighted gal that day. She must have thought we were all busy and with Miko not around, we probably would have forgotten, but hey we didn't! Gave a surprise knock on her door at about 12.15am that night and she was clad in her pyjamas only when we brought the 'cakes' out for her. Len and I had baked one for her and Yanni and Qiao Ying bought one for her. As in the usual practice, longy had to hose her as well, but we didn't go too far, just the back of her PJs were wet. Had a potluck birthday dinner for her later that day and boy it sure felt good having a sumptious meal once awhile with 8 dishes and it was a lucky number too! Hope you had a great day Lily!

Image hosted by Photobucket.comShit, I got the months mixed up in the photo, should be July instead of June. Well, anyway, ironically it was Lily's birthday but I got some gifts from darling too. He wanted me to still know that I mean alot to him. The previous post and the cold shoulders I was giving him 2 days ago really hurt him. Guess Val was right about being stressed and getting to a point in time where I need to sort some things out. It didn't totally clear my thoughts, but then again, Darling's too sweet not to be loved and with the amount of love he has given me, I realised you shouldn't ask for too much sometimes. Understanding and compromise are some of the things that are needed to make a relationship work. I know sometimes he could be the most irritating person in the world, but I would miss those silly things and stuff if they are not here. People tend to regret stuff only when they lose it and it happened to me a few times, so I hope I can be more level-minded in future.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comMet my supervisor on Friday and it lifted up my spirits a little after we kinda got the project sorted out a little more. Joyce had been asking me about my faculty brochure ever since her's came out a week plus ago and she was on the front page. Well, I just happen to pass by the rack and saw that the brochures for my faculty had just arrived and so I check it out to see how my photo shoot had turned out. The first thing on my mind was it didn't quite look like me. Darling and Len say I look natural and fine in it though, it doesn't really matter anyway. So the rest of that day was spent playing games and having dinner at Quba thereafter. Awww, the Prawns and Calamari with garlic sauce was awesome and darn I really have been eating quite abit the last few days.

Today(Sat) was a happy and fruitful trip down Melbourne with darling. Yess just with me and you and you and me. It's been a long time since the two of us went anywhere together and so we decided to just make it "Our Day" today. Mt. Dandenong ranges was a great place and even though we were there only for a short while, it was still a joyful trip. We got some toys and bracelets from GEPPETTOS WORKSHOP and had tea at MISS MARPLE'S TEA ROOM. Man, the scones there were really awesome with the raspberry jam and whipped cream. Actually everything there tastes great, especially the desserts and darling tried out the soup too.

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Couldn't believed just an hour after that, we headed down to Uncle Danny's for dinner. We had no where to go cause all shops were closed by then as it was already about 5.30pm and the main aim today to go collect the durians darling ordered anyway. Noodles and Wraps had the best malaysian food ever and Darling, Len and I love everything there. From the Sar Hor Fun, Char Kuay Tiao, Ipoh Hor Fun, Fried Rice to Curry Soup, Len keeps imagining ways to abduct Uncle Danny back to cook for her... Haha..

Thursday, July 28, 2005

iM coMpLiCaTeD aGAiN, i MiSs tHoSe tHRiLLs & sPiLLs & dOn tHiNk aBoUt wAts goiN On?

Right now, I have lotsa thoughts on my mind. Sometimes I wonder if I have a split personality like the Gemini rather than the true Aries. I can be very cheerful one minute and real moody te next. Talked to Len and Evon yesterday, told them I was "Tired, tired, tired!, Of what? of everything that's going on in my life now. Maybe one part of the characteristics of being an Aries lies true to the fact that they crave exciting, dynamic and ever-changing things in life. For me, it got to the point where you thought everything was perfect and then you start to grow tired of the calamity and perfectness. And I can picture men screaming in my face, "What the hell do you women want?" OR maybe just, "What the hell do YOU want?" -> I wish I knew....

Lately I've been dreaming about many different guys, from my ex-boyfriends to new guys whom I seem to be dating in my dreams. The weirdest part was that they all spoke chinese. Don't come scorning me again "my honourable" guys friends with your, "Oh good, you have problems with your BF? Breaking up? Then I got chance lah is it?" If you are destined to remain my friend, please just let it be. Thank you. No offence to anyone, but I did get really corny messages from past primary or secondary school guys telling me they like me when I don't even remember who they are?! **mel frowns and gives a look of +nono+ **

I had illusions of being in a race car again, the feeling of adrenalin rush and heart thumping, it used to happen lots 2 year back. Yess, those illegal street racing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a "Chao Ah-Lian". Ah Lians don't make it to uni. I wasn't exactly an angel too, just someone playful and wild at that time. Did I ever mention I love cars as well? The new Mazda 3, Mitsubishi Evo7, GTO, Mazda RX-7, RX-8, Honda Civic EG, EK 9, Prelude, Integra, BMW Z4. Yess, my future desired car if possible would be modified with body kits and spoiler, spring burnt, filter and exhaust changed++. *mel's imaginary bubble pops out from her head* "Legend of Speed" and better known as "Lie Huo Zhan Che"2. Watched it on SBS yesterday, it was my third time watching it. Love Hong Kong movies and hate to say especially "so-called" gangster movies like "Young and Dangerous" and any movies with Ekin Cheng, Jordan Chan, Edison Chen, Nicholes Tse, Allan Wu and my Jay Chou. Miss my Hong Kong movies, dramas and stuff where I can get easily back in Msia.

In the past, I thought it bothered me that my ex-BFs and I spoke chinese more than english or we had a mixture of each. Then I realised it bothers me even more if 'he' doesn't speak or write mandarin at all. Yes, not the least bit. It bothers me because I prefer mandarin or canto songs and think that english songs are crap and have no meaning at all sometimes. The word "Love" can be expressed in so many ways. And yes, the problem lies with me. "Thou shall not ask why"...

Sunday, July 24, 2005

dURiAnS We'Re SuPPosEd 2 cOLLeCt aRe NoT hErE yeT, sHoPpiNg @ DFO & JuSt sOmE LiTtLe UpDaTEs..

Image hosted by Photobucket.comOkay I promise to make this post a short one. One is because it was only updated a few days ago and two is because I have been telling darling im gonna do some studying for the past 2 hours already and I haven't started anything yet.. *haha, LOL* Yess, it's only week one or for some of you, uni's not even started yet, well lucky you then. Nobody wants to stress themselves when its only the first week of school, neither do I, but I just don't have a choice. As you can see, Saturday was shopping day with Len at DFO, I reckon they should pay us for promoting them, yeah? Anyway, there's really heaps of shops and we didn't have time finishing the three rows of it when it was closing time. We reached there about 3pm and they close at 6pm and yess, its us gals and we definitely take longer. Most of what I spent was on darling's pre-birthday gifts, which was a dress-shirt for the upcoming SRA Ball and a Canterbury Polo shirt. Don't ask me what brand that is, I reckon the guys know better, apparently it's a brand that endorses rugby products and darling's mad about it. So you can tell, it's BLOODY expensive, worst than a Nike or an Adidas Polo shirt. But awwhh, I guess its worth spoiling him a little sometimes..

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Okay, so I promised to keep it short, so this week's updates include:
~ Meeting up with Suryani an IT PhD student to ask about my project so I can understand better, which helped a little, but still hey isn't really there yet...
~ Getting to know a girl called Fiona from my Data Comm. class, nice and friendly gal!
~ Finally seeing Helen and Michael at Church this morning, boy I sure miss them since I haven't seen them for a month cause they were busy during the hols & stuff. (They are like my foster parents here after being with them throughout the whole of Catechisim classes before I got baptised.)
~ Talking to Michael about how I was afraid I can't finish my thesis in time and how I can't communicate with my lecturer and he gave me some advise.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

eVoN'S bCk fOr ViSit, CiTy tRiP cLubBin & tO sEnD miKo oFf bAcK mSiA, pLuS tOo MaNy tHinGs sUck iN LiFe..

Image hosted by Photobucket.comIt's the second day of class and I decided to do a little update after coming back from the photography booth at uni. Darling's still having his lab and won't be back will 4pm or 5pm and I plan to take a nap after this cause my head's throbbin. Guess it's from the late night sleep last night, when the two of us were tossing and turning and I was throwing my tantrums with my mood swings again. Back to more happy stuff, Evon's back for a visit and some shots taken with her and the girls on our Yum Cha that day. Just read an email from my mum that day asking me to try and stop worrying about too many things especially the PR thing and about darling's fate and me next year. It's real ironical how my mum says she trusts him and hope she's right that he is "The-One", while his mum asks him not to be too serious in the relationship. Sometimes I get really pissed that my mum dotes on him so much while Im kinda like nothing to his mum because she refuses to let her "precious" be snatched away. He says that his parents need time.. yeah time.. Time will tell lotsa things...

Image hosted by Photobucket.comCouldn't believe we were really bored that day on the way down to city and decided to play around, being vain and taking photos in the car. Anyway I reckon Len's gonna charge me for copyright one day with all the photos I put up her in my blog! =) The trip down was to have a last night clubbin for Miko in Melbourne and also to send her off the next day. Mind you, having a trip with too many people can be a real headache cause you get problems like not enough transport (2 cars but 13 people), people who act like kings and queens and expect to be picked up whenever they want. Darling and I agreed that this would be the first and last trip with so many people. We even took the risk squeezing 13 people in a service apt. meant for 6. Lucky it was only for a few hours sleep with the time we came back after clubbin..

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Image hosted by Photobucket.comSo Miko went back M'sia on 16th July. Lucky gal, to think she was worrying too much about not passing all her modules wen she actually got D's for all of them. Damn I didn't even do that well for my supposingly last semester last year, I was partying away like hell. Well, that's apart from the point, congrats to her for her graduation anyway. ;p Anyway the first day of uni felt really weird, going back to lectures and stuff, plus my mixed up of modules I had to change. Then again the undone project is still left on my mind. *If I could have a wish from a genie now, I would ask him to complete my Java program for me*. Yess think Im going nuts already sometimes, what with so many things to handle on my mind that I have been having mood swings with darling. Like last night filling up the M'sia Police Clearance form to send back M'sia ask my parents settle for me. I just felt so agitated and grumpy thinking of further forms I have to feel and places to go to complete the different processes. I told darling I needed to talk to a counseller..

Anyway, tales around gippy travel in the wrong places and come out from the wrong mouths. I just happen to ask about extending another semester in case I couldn't finish my project and the message was passed round to my friend that I was going to prolong for another sem. Soon, everyone will think Im gonna stay another extra sem to complete my Honours. Never mind anyway, I don't have the full faith. Guess my friends have much more faith in me than I have in myself. Chat to Fizah today and found out that DIMIA could issue a Bridging VISA while waiting for PR application here. I was delighted at the news, but then don't wanna put my hopes too high again. Been there, done that in the past and sometimes, it makes you fall higher and harder... The news about my close cousin breaking up with her BF made me lose even more faith in my love life cause they were so close to getting married and *boom*.. Life's unpredictable and it sucks too...

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

'hE' mEaNs eVeRyTHiNg tO mE, sOmE iNfO I WiSheD tO hEaR oR nOt hEaR, iM iNcOnsOLaBLe...


Sorry about the mushy stuff, technically I was supposed to be doing my readings for my thesis, but too much happened to me yesterday that I feel an even more heavy burden now and just had to update my blog. Was chatting to Micheal on MSN, one of the ex-gippies who studied IT with me as well, he graduated last year. He's back in Msia now working in an IT firm, and did his PR application offshore. I was asking me about some modules I was gonna take in Sem 2 and he told me the ones I chose were pretty difficult. He asked me not to always be so hard on myself and take those difficult modules, passing the degree will be good enough. I told him I didn't have a choice with the limited modules to choose from. He then went on saying that I treat him like nothing when he cared so much for me.. I guess I might be too insensitive and uncaring towards my other guy friends sometimes... *Will keep that in mind, and be more concern about them*

Image hosted by Photobucket.comLast Friday, darling's mum went back to Singapore, so this vain pot finally can't wait for the chance to be able to bleach and dye his hair. The after effect of the bleach was pretty nice and he looked more charming than ever with the light brown hair. *Sorry, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder* But, hey then again, darling is charming right? Anyway, apparently the blue coloured dye didn't turn out exactly the way he wanted. Think it's cause we dyed too soon right after the bleach, so some parts came out green instead and some parts remained blonde. He still said he kinda liked it and maybe later on, we'll dye it some other colour. He was boasting to my mum about how he could finally dye his hair after his mum was gone, so that it could start growing back by the end of the year. His mum's eyes will pop out if she sees him like this!

Well, back to te earlier point, Honours ain't called Honours if it ain't difficult anyway. There were so many times I regretted coming back and felt like giving up, like Im at the edge of the cliff wanting to jump off. But when I relinquish about the times I've spent with darling, which are the happiest moments of my life, I knew I wanted all these, even if there would be a test in our relationship when we get seperated next year. Dropping at the library earlier in the evening wasn't such a good idea cause after the talk on PR application with Abraham, I felt so dejected, I had to go home immediatly to see darling, in case I start sobbing there and then. Know why? Because PR application is such a tedious thing here and I have to get police reports from 3 countries to prove I had "Good Character". That wasn't the saddest part still, it was when he told me only when my degree was accredited by the ACS (Aust. Computer Society) when I graduate will I then be able to fully submit my full application. Thats means, months of waiting back in Singapore or JB next year while waiting for an answer, not being able to get PR end year so that I can stay on and work in Gippsland and not being able to see my darling everyday anymore... *sob sob*...

I was so affected by the information that I couldn't stop crying at the thought of being seperated from darling next year. The funny part was that I was more affected by that than by the thought of sg govt. finding out about the bond through the police report check. Being apart from darling the four days when he was with his mum was already unbearable, this time it will ne worse. My parents keep telling me to stop worrying about the PR application thingy and concentrate on my studies. I told them I would try my best. But I still kepy crying to darling telling him I miss him already for next year... =(

Monday, July 04, 2005

rEaLiTy BiTeS aNd TrUtH hURts, bUt iM gLaD 'tHeY' kNoW aBouT uS nOw, pLuS mUm's rEtuRn tO JB, iM MiSsiN HeR aLrEaDy...

Image hosted by Photobucket.comThe left pic shows of my uncle, auntie and cousin who's staying in Melbourne. We went out for dinner a night just before my mum flew back S'pore. Anyway, we just got back to Gippy on Sunday, with me driving in the wee hours of the morning at 5.30am plus 6am. Len, Joyce and I had wanted to set off at 10pm on Sat night after we had sent my mum off at the airport. Guess it was me being pretty sturbbon again and wanting to dilly dally so I can see darling just awhile more. Then, darling's mum wouldn't hear of us setting off so late, so we stayed the night at the service apartment instead. Earlier that night longy had broke the news to us that his mum found out about our relationship through the mobile phone SMSs; coz she was using mine as the spare SIM card was inside. It's just so typical of darling to go dig his own hole. When we met his mum earlier, the look she gave us is just so scary. Darling says she's really nice and stuff, but Len and I reckon she still sort of has the typical S'pore 'Tai-Tai' feeling...

Anyway, both of them had asked us three girls to set of later on Sunday afternoon, but I just couldn't stand being near darling and not be able to cuddle up, give him a kiss or hug when I want, coz of his mum. He didn't keep his promise to come see me before he slept and he made me upset coz he still wanted to deny the truth from his parents. It's like he just wants to run away from nagging, or maybe like a Crown prince afraid of the Empress Dowager? Maybe it's just the problem with being an only child or only son.

I woke up at 2am that night and wrote him a short note on his PDA. Still finding it hard to forgive him, he gave me a hug before we drove off and told me he was sorry for hurting my feelings and had already told his mum that we are together. But it's just like his mum is not too happy and wants to be in denial that her little boy has grown up and has a GF, coz she asked him again 2 days later if we're are official together. I was angry again when he kept quiet at first and the next time she asked again, he finally replied yes... It's like such a long ordeal for his parents to finally know the truth that their precious son has a GF and he'd stop making me invisible or non-exisiting in front of his them...

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So I'm back home now bored shitless and ever sooo... bitter with everyone having their hols and being able to do anything they want or just bum around doing nothing while I'm stuck having to do my project. I barely managed to get a few lines of code written yesterday and the whole of today was just slack time again. Haha, we all were watching, "Monster-in-law" last night when Tim asked me to grab a notebook and take down notes to 'tackle' my future "Mother-in-law". I thought without darling around, I would be able to get some work done, but he proved wrong. Maybe it's because he's my pillar of support and my happy pea pod who never fails to set my heart thumping and bring a smile to my face...

I don't deny the fact that I wanna get married. I mean, any normal girl would want to walk down the aisle in the lovely white gown with the man of her dreams. And it makes it doesn't help when this friendster thingy shows quite a number of your friends who are about the same age as you, posting their wedding photos and looking all happy and pretty there. Life is pretty contradictive like one of the things you see is those nerdy, simple girls back in High School who had one of two BFs in their life getting hitched and walking down the aisle before you. I mean no offence, but the truth hurts, and much as I am happy for them finding their other halfs, I want my turn to come soon as well.

In the past, marriage thingys used to be a much-talked topic between my ex-BFs, and it kinda freak me out coz they all didn't turn out as it meant to be. The topic wasn't much talked about with longy because to everyone, he seems like the kiddish, playful and immature person and marriage was one thing that gave him cold feet when mentioned. So I was kinda surprised when I joked to him about "Monster-in-law" and he said, hey my mum will be nice also when we get married in future. It just stunned me off, well he said now he felt more comfortable talking about such things now that his parents knows about us, he can stop keeping his feelings hidden.

Will be going out to watch "Madagascar" with Len, Tim and Joyce soon, so ciaos for time being...