Saturday, June 26, 2004

Chadstone shopping, a little insecurity, a little argument

Friday was the shopping trip to Chadstone shopping centre my mum, Tigger and her housemates. Dropped off the CD with the edited photos to the media room before we left round 9.30am plus. The journey was as usual long and tiring and we finally reached Chadstone at round 11.30am plus I think. It was really large and there were lots of food stalls and of cause loads of shops as well. Due to Tigger's craving for sushi, we all had sushi for lunch which was quite nice actually...

Anyway shopping was split up into 3 groups with my independent mum going off alone, me with Tigger and her other 2 housemates together. Went shopping crazy again today and got great bargains from MNG, Sports Girl, Esprit, FCUK etc... The feeling of contentment was indescribable with so many new stuff even before I go Sydney this Monday. Couldn't talk to Ph again the whole day since last night as he said the network was really poor at the place he's in now. But I couldn't help wonder how come a handphone could have the reception to ring but can't hear anything at all when answered and can't even send a little short msg. How come he can't even bother to lend his friend's hp just to make a short call because I do believe the main problem lies in his own mobile instead. Tigger told me not to be too sensitive cause she noticed I had change the wallpaper on my mobile phone.

Back home at round 8pm just now and was really tired. Though I got his msg earlier it didn't really help much cause talking to him would have really been much better. Had wanted to use the car on Sunday to pick Denise and mum to church cause I feel bad always having to trouble Tigger, but unexpectedly something happened that really pissed me off. One of the so-call owners of my boyfriend's car actually told me she had the priority to hog the car because Ph got the car to compensate them. I had thought the car was free to use during his whole trip cause he said it was ok and now I couldn't even use it for ONE day! It would have been better if he had gave them the $500 each and bought a car for himself rather than having people think he's obliged to let them use his car now. I wouldn't have been so angry if she hadn't had been so selfish and showed some concern and finding an alternative instead of assuming she totally owns the car.

Just when you most needed that someone, he/she always cannot be reached. I felt so down when my mum sarcastically said I was so useless in arguing with people. That just wasn't me cause I don't like to blow things up. Another reason that I hate to admit was that I actually didn't have faith in Ph; meaning I have no idea what his thinking is at all and whether or not he'll stand up for me during situations like this... Anyway, I don't need people to think I have to be so hard up for a car. I could get one if I really pestered my parents; guess ill just return him the spare key when he returns and want to have nothing more to do with it... (*r*)

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Ph gone a day for his Trip, Settling Stuff @ Uni and Home hooked on my laptop

Yesterday my mum went to Morwell shopping herself cause I wanted to go check out if there was any help needed for the next issue of the EMIT newspaper. Before that I went to settle some stuff like posting letters for myself and Ph. I actually printed out a copy of the "Bac. of Computing" Honours application form, filled it up for Ph and posted it without his knowledge. There was no harm in just applying since there was no fee process charges. I'm so naived actually to still be thinking of ways he could stay on in Gippsland for his honours. He's going to kill me if he knows about it... I'm still keeping my fingers crossed (^x^)

David and Kevin were at the Media rooms doing the layouts and stuff when I got there and since there was no extra computers to used, I just help with some article editing before I got the list of photos from David that I could help out with the Photos Designing. And so the afternoon was spent surfing the net looking for photos and also creating a deviant art gallery account to upload my pieces of work. Got a msg from Ph at round 8pm saying that he had reached Adelaide. Really miss him very much even though he had been gone for only less than a day...

The morning was awoken around 7am plus by the sound of my handphone message tune. I had a gut feeling that it was my Ph and true enough it really was. His messages were always sweet; This one was even sweeter because besides telling me he had safely reached the some desert, the message ended with a "Love U.." I rubbed my eyes to see if I was dreaming, and nope I didn't see wrongly. I called him immediatly caused I miss hearing him so much and we chatted for awhile before I went back to sleep. Oh god, this made me miss him so much more... (@_@)

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Mum's Arrival, City Shopping & Treasuring Few Moments...

Got up @ 4am monday morning due to the pill effects again. Picked up Denise at round 5.35am and we started our journey down Melbourne Airport. Was really grateful that she came got up so early to acccompany me on the long and tiring journey. Boy, only now I do realise the tiredness and strain of driving long distance. The trip to airport took round 3 hours due to the office hours jam in the morning. Picked mum up round 8.15am and with some directions from Tigger plus my instinct, we managed to find the Crown Casino carpark. Lucky the parking was a $7 flat rate so it was not so bad after all; We then took a tram down melbourne central.

Guess I was trying to reward myself after exams, so much so that I spent $200 plus in a day. As usual I couldn't control myself at Smith Street, especially at the Adidas and Nike stores. Fell in love with a "Just Jeans" jacket and just had to get it, cost me $80 bucks! The drive back gippsland was also a tiring one and I have to admit I almost fell asleep cause the sky was already dark on our way back. Couldn't wait to see Ph when he got back and was happy that he actually said he it was weird without me around him. He had gone for a 2D1N trip to Lake Entrance with his friends.

Spent the last 2 nights at his place cause he was going to Alice Springs(This time for 10days) with another group of friends. He just left awhile ago and I kind of miss him already. Well I have to get used to it because soon it'll be 5mths before we ever meet again. Helped him pack his stuff yesterday and later went on to cook dinner for the 3 of us. (My mum, Ph and myself). Didn't really sleep well last night and darn, it's only 7am plus now and I can't sleep already so here I am... online again... ***(@+@)***

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Budget Car Rental, Sunday Mass & "Room Alone" Night

Finally confirmed when I wanted to go Sydney and booked my flight for my mum and I with Virgin Blue for departure on 28 June. God, the fare costs a total of AUD$448 for 2 people's 2-way ticket which is considered quite cheap here but costs like $1200 ringgit man! Anyway, that still excludes the accomodation and shopping... Hmmn, holidays always cost a bomb. Woke up like 7am this morning cause the lady from Budget was picking us up at 7.30am. Had to collect the car because Im going down to Melbourne Airport to pick up my mum who's arriving tommorrow at 6.45am. Lucky Tigger's around to go down with me so I won't be so lonely throughout the journey...

Called Ph up before I went to Church because he was going to Lake Entrance with his friends. **Sob Sob**, =( first time in so long he'll be away from me one night. Well, I kind of didn't really feel much cause I wanted some time for myself too. Not that I didn't miss him, but I've got to get used to not having him around soon anyway. Wanted to get some sleep in the afternoon, but instead went to Midvalley with Denise and believe it or not, I drove down a second time to Midvalley with my housemates for another round of shopping and dinner just an hour after I got back. The mitsubishi magna was really comfortable and grand - wished it were mine forever.. haha, there I am dreaming again..

Got a msg from Ph just now and he said it was just so weird without me around. Hmmn... My ex's mother called me in the afternoon and we chatted awhile. She didn't know that her son and I had broken up till I told her. Guessed he didn't want to tell his mum much. Anyway, she asked if I had another BF, I wasn't scared to deny cause she should know her son and I are just not compaitable and the kind of attitude he has. Arghh, gotta go check out the Melway book to familiarize the road to Melbourne Airport and also the way to Crown Casino plus Chadstone. Yeah, so happy can see my mum and can happily go shopping to any place I want with the car and no need to worry about having to rush for the bus or train and the amount of things to carry. Wish me luck in driving in the city tommorrow! (^v^)

Saturday, June 19, 2004

3D2N Trip to Grampians & Shit! I need to diet, I've put on weight!

Just got back from the Grampians trip a 2 hours ago and couldn't wait to update my blog. The trip was a fun and unforgettable one, not only because it was my first holiday after exams but it was because of "he" who went with me. It was actually my real first time driving long distance for 2 hours non-stop due to the long 6 hour plus trip in which we had to take turns driving to and fro. Reached Grampians at round 5pm plus on Wed and checked into a place called Halls Gap Caravan Park. The accomodation was a special one because we were staying in a caravan and the beds, kitchen and dining table was all together in one place. Went with Ph, mike, kim and shiho and we went for a walk around the area after checking in. As usual there were convenience and souvenier stores plus some restaurants. Didn't do much on the 1st night because most shops were closed and it was already dark. Had take-away dinner and night was spent chatting, playing cards and having red wine to keep us warm. It was really freezing and definitely much colder than in Gippsland and everyone couldn't sleep well at night because the heater wasn't really working and the beds were just too cold...

Woke up at round 8.15am on thurs morning and went to bath. Took a long time cause the lights were out in the toilet and after everyone got ready, it was already 10am plus before we left the caravan. Went first for a 1 hour plus drive to "Hollow Mountain" and had a really good and challenging mountain climbing. The view was not too bad from above and we started taking pictures all along the way. Next was to "Boroka Lookout" but the afternoon was too foggy, thus we couldn't see any nice sceneary at all. So we headed on to "Mackenzie Falls". It was a high waterfall in which we had to walk down quite a dist, to the base but, it was quite a worthwhile walk as the waterfall was lovely. Night fell again soon and we had dinner at one of the restaurants there. The food was really great and the desserts as well; was expensive but worth it. Everyone wrapped in thicker clothing that night and bunked in earlier cause we were al tired.

Fri was first to "Reeds Lookout" and there were special rocks along the footpath with a peculiar large one at the lookout called "The Balconies" which looked like a dragon head. Next was back to "Boroka Lookout" again cause we wanted to get a better view in the sunshine this time. And luckily we went, cause the view was really splendid as we could see the whole of Halls Gap, the mountains and lakes around. We were supposed to leave early but in the end still went ahead to Silver Band Falls(another special waterfall with a streak of water coming down) and another lake(I forgot the name) for more photo-taking. Left Grampians at round 2pm and lunch and dinner was McD before we reached back Gippsland at round 8pm plus.

Was really happy throughout the trip cause it was a first holiday with "him" and even though there were other friends that went along, it was overall still fun. However I couldn't help but felt sad when I looked at all the photos, I realized that my face was real round and I had really put on some inconsiderable amount of weight which made me feel so ugly as compared to the photos I took just 1 month ago. Shit, I guess it's all because of "ai qing de zhi run" and the stupid exam pre-weight gaining blues. No, Im going to diet and get back to my usual self or even thinner if I can. Im not gonna risk getting fat and ugly again, especially when he's thinner than me. Though he's sweet enough to say he doesn't mind, that would not stop me, so "gambate" to my dieting! =) Have to go sleep now, really tired after the trip... Zzzzz (-,-)

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Sunday Mass, Watchin "Harry Porter 3", End of Exams! Hurray!

Was kind of lazy to get up for Sunday Mass cause I was so tired, but I went anyway even though Tigger couldn't wake up cause I didn't want to feel guilty later. Got back home at the usual 11am plus and Ph was still sleepin. He was supposed to wake up and do his jetta stuff, knew the piggy couldn't wake up on time. Afternoon was spent trying to get some studying done for my last paper on Tuesday. Studying for the last paper is the worst because the holiday mood is already here and I just couldn't get myself to sit down and look at the book!

Was glad that Ph and I went to Midvalley watch "Harry Porter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" in the evenin cause I was going mad staying at home. Ph made dinner again and it was not bad... Tried very hard to study again at night and when I could take it no more, I went online to surf net and icq. Couldn't do that long cause Ph was threatening to off my laptop cause he wanted me to go study. Fell asleep and woke up at 4.30am continue my studying then slept and woke up at 8am...

Yes! The paper was quite okay and it was the end of exams! Went home and met Ph, Shiho, Mike and Kim; went to Midvalley for lunch and shopping. Thinking back awhile about how unhappy I was with my ex BF who took me for granted so much, I couldn't help but thought about how fortunate I am now with someone who can have the patience for groceries shopping, how caring and thoughtful he is sometimes. Back on campus, we were back at our laptops doing our own stuff, and every precious minute with him was happy no matter what, as long as he's around... (*u*)

Finished packing our stuff for the "Grampians" trip tommorrow and now back at our laptops doing our own stuff. I am really happy now because I can finally be confirmed that I have a BF now and it's not a game all along. Someone finally 80% commit about our relationship and admit that it's quite impossible to simply like another girl in the next 5mths back in S'pore. Although I don't know what will happen in the next few months, but I certainly hope that he's "The-One"... Gotta go bath now, feeling really sticky, yucks.. haha! Sometimes, the most unexpected things come along in the least expected ways. So I learned to tell myself to stop having too much expectations and wait for them to happen instead... =)

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Woke up @ 3pm!, Suppose to Study, Dinner & Groceries Shopping @ Coles.

Boy, today was the latest I have ever woken up here. Guess cause my clock has been turned upside down. Yesterday was Mike's birthday and Ph, xiuling and I went over for a potluck at his place. There were a few people which I didn't know, but overall it was quite okay... Went over to Lenore's place cause wanted to wish them a Bon Voyage as she and Sheali were flying back to m'sia today. Gave them each a hug and can't believe I'm missing them a little already. Lucky my Tigger and her gang still around for awhile before she goes holidaying with her housemates and meeting her BF later in July...

Was glad Ph had a change of plans for his holiday and so I could follow him and his friends to Grampians on the 16th. Would be back on the 18th cause my mum's arriving on the 21st. Slept at 6am again, thus the late time I woke up today. Had a very late brunch/tea and was supposed to be studyin. Instead, I was surfing the net again and half completing my e-commerce tutorial. Dinner was 2 not-so-bad dishes made by Ph and we later went to Coles to get some stuff. I was really happy that I got the chance to drive here so that I wouldn't lose my skills. Ph always gave pass the wheel to me most of the time wherever we went so that I could practice driving with his car.

Back at home now and after clearing up the messy kitchen and talking to my mum, here I am again updating my blog and chatting my pal in s'pore. My pal was telling me that if he were someone, he'll stay committed long distance no matter how long the relationship is if he truely loves that person. I thought so that way too, but too bad someone doesn't think so. 6 months will pass very fast, if a guy can fall simply fall in love with another girl after he so-call have feelings for a girl now, then I guess he's just not worth it. An excuse about not knowing each other long enough is not a good one cause time doesn't metter if you truely love someone. All my friends keep telling me we'll still be together after I get back to s'pore in dec, but I don't dare think too much about it... Sometimes I can't help but wonder, why are most guys so fickle minded? Had enough, I'm going to bath now, need to do some studying else I'll feel guilty... =|

Friday, June 11, 2004

Crazy studying @ home last 2 days, 3 down - 1 paper to go!

Busy studying at home the last two days... Went to gym on wednesday because I feeling really bulky since I haven't been had a workout for more than a week already. Found out that it was cheaper taking a 3mth gym membership and it could be paid in 3 installments. Going to the gym during lunch time was a good idea cause I got the whole gym to myself for more than 1/2 hour. Lunch was with Ph at foodworks and usual buying of some groceries after that. Wanted to try our luck in the 9 million tattersalls powerball lottery out on thursday, but the numbers we got were no where close to the winning number at all -> sadz... =(

Wednesday afternoon was spent studying in library and dinner was done by me cause Ph had his last paper on thursday. Was glad that his last paper was ok and he was real happy he had finished all his papers. Thursday was spent studying at home whole day with someone happily sleeping in bed while I was in the living room studying like crazy. Looking at my multimedia notes almost made me went mad. Ginnie and I tried out the past year papers till 3.30am plus and I later went on to explain to Hannah abit on some of the notes. Went to bed at 6am and woke up at 8am cause my paper was 9.30am. My brain's really exhausted. Fortunately the paper was still quite alright and finally, 3 papers down and 1 last one to go next tuesday.

Had wanted to spend the day with someone cause we both had no time for each other the last two days, but was warned by him to go get some sleep. Couldn't help the temptation to go online after he went out so here I am updating my blog and its design. Finally done and can really feel the drain on my brain. I better go get some sleep now... (-.-)

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

2nd paper - much better, network up again, hooked on net

Couldn't bear the thought of getting out the exam hall dishearted again, so I stayed up till 5am last night and slept like only 2 hours just to study for the 2nd paper. Thank god it was really much better and I managed to finish almost all questions except leaving out abit here and there. Anyway my head was real dizzy and my brain was really exhausted, but it was worth the hard work... Wana say a big "Thank You" to all those who cared and wished me luck for the exams, that had been really encouraging.

Went to student rez to find out about the pricing for the south units and their availability. Back home in the afternoon and the network was finally up again. Didn't really have the chance to suft the net last night, and so was hooked on it the whole afternoon till evening when I was supposed to get some sleep. Someone turned up wit mcD dinner, that was sweet cause I thought he had forgotten. Guess the strain was getting on me and I was in a kind of bad mood. The thoughts of his departure coming soon didn't help much either. I'm still angry at the fact that it just wasn't fair we had so little time together... (&_&)

Think I'm getting sick with all the stress and not having enough sleep. I have a bad sore throat which doesn't seem to be getting better. Guess all I need now is a good sleep and lots of rest. Chatted with my mum over the phone just now. She just came back from KL after attending my cousin's wedding with my relatives. Really miss my cute little nephew and niece too... I actually do miss lots of people, my family and friends back in s'pore and m'sia. Hyahh, if only I had bought a 2-way ticket, I would have gone back during the june holidays... =|

Monday, June 07, 2004

1st exam paper disaster, studying for tom's database mgmt paper.

Barely slept four hours for my first paper - gco3807project mgmt. today and was in fact quite full of confidence when waiting outside the exam room. But the moment I read the first page of the paper, I knew it was a gone case. My exam script was I could say 40% blank. Even though I skipped most of the structured questions and jumped over to the calculation ones, there was still not enough time to finish everything! Some of the questions asked were not highlighted in lectures and there was no time at all to figure out how to answer the ambigious calculation questions. I almost wanted to cry when I was out of the exam hall. This was one paper that I left so many blanks! It wasn't that I didn't study at all, the questions asked were just so out of the planet!

Didn't have any mood to eat anything at the cafe and headed back home to take something before I hit the pillow and went to sleep. Woke up an hour later and here I am in the com lab blogging and checking emails before going to the library later to study for tomorrow's paper. I still can't get over the exam paper earlier even though Ph had tried talking to me just now. The thing keeps running through my mind.

Guess tonight will be straight home after library, take my dinner and back to the books again. Hopefully I don't fall asleep. And wish myself best of luck for tomorrow's exam paper. I will def. break down if tomorrow's one is a disaster again. (Touch wood) it won't. Anyway Im not in a good mood today, so I hope I don't get any disturbances tonight when Im studying, else Im gonna start shouting already! (*0*)

Now am back at home and the Internet is finally working. Instead of studying, here I am editing my blog. Time passes too fast sometimes. Ph and I haven't got much time left to spend together. I guess that's why he's been wanting to accompany me more this few days. I just don't have the heart to turn him down even though I know he's a distraction. Think I'll just have to force myself to concentrate on my studies still... Sad.. Gonna bath now and it's back to my books again... (+_+)

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Sunday Mass, "Library Studying" and eve of prj. mgmt. exam!

My head was spinning when I woke up this morning cause I barely slept 4hours and had to wake up for church. I was still hesitating about going when Tigger dropped a msg saying she would meet me at carpark at 9.20am. Oh well, since Im already up so might as well go. If not I know I will feel guilty later because I had already skipped Catechism class. Went on to Foodworks with denise after that to get some more toiletries and stuff. Funny how come I never seem to run out of items to buy! She was telling me that there were rats in her house, maybe they should engage a rat buster there, haha.. =)

Got home at round 11am and made brunch for that little piggy still sleeping. Forgot that he can't eat much when he just wake up not long, so he didn't finish the stuff. I was supposed to catch some sleep but then decided to go to the library because there was like not enough time to study. Surprised him with another pack of "ai-xin" toast on the way there. Tried hard to concentrate but found myself dozing off every now and then. That was it, I want to sleep! Packed my stuff and went to com lab surf net awhile...

Dinner was the left over half packet of pasta and I later took a half hour nap because I couldn't take it anymore, my brain needed some rest. Night after bathing was spent trying to study again. Ph came over to keep me company and study together. I actually wanted to be alone to concentrate, but didn't want to hurt his feelings. However the actual distraction wasn't really him. It was the noise coming from somewhere and it made me really agitated because there I was trying hard to get things into my head, and then there are other disturbances coming through as well. This was another point which push the decision more on moving over to the South Units...

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Studying in Library, Dinner @ CCR and "Our Study Night"

Woke up at 12pm plus feeling quite cold. Ph went back home to change and was going to the library again. I suddenly thought of making some food for him cause he always eat so little during breakfast, but he had already had bread. So I ate his noodles and pop my oven baked stuff into the fridge instead, leave it for his supper I guess...

Was going bonkers staying at home the last two days and needed a change of environment to study. There was no other better place I could think of except the library even though I thought so otherwise at first. Didn't want to be a "distraction" to him, so I sat at another section where the low tables were. It turned out the library wasn't such a bad place to study after all. I could comfortably rest my legs on the table or chair while I read my complicating database textbook. Lucky I did manage to absorb some stuff. I hate to admit that it was actually better than studying in my room where there was the tendency to walk around and look for things to munch...

We went to the com lab after that to check the usual stuff and had dinner at Churchill Chinese Restaurant. The food was not too bad, but the chicken was kind of oily though. It was a nice feeling having your BF to drive you for dinner, buy groceries, going shopping/movies or just going for a spin. This was exactly what I was imagining before I came over gippsland but the bubbles bursts when there was no one suitable at first. Even though the bubbles came back, they are floating off again soon... =|

Night was spent trying to get more studying done and I couldn't help falling asleep after dinner. Funny how come he seems to have an extra big appetite for supper when he's over my place. No doubts that he had supper 2 times last night, boy if only he was like that in the beginning of the semester, he probably would have put on some weight now... Slept at 4am plus even though had to wake up early next day for church...

Friday, June 04, 2004

Foodworks, Home Studying and "Our Night"

Got up at 10am due to the effects of the pill again. I delibrately took it last night before I slept cause I wanted to get up early. Once you get up at 12.30pm plus, it's more than half the day gone and there isn't time to do much things. It was raining on and off, but by hook or crook I still wanted to go Foodworks because there were still many things I needed to get. Lucky the rain became smaller as I was leaving, else I would be drenched carrying all the heavy stuff back home... Ph was still sleeping like a pig I guess..

I went to his place later with some bread for him and he was just on the way out; Said he was going to the library again. Funny how people can study at the library because I prefer to do it in the comfort of my cosy room, haha... =) Anyway, he quietly came over to look for me at round 5pm cause the library was closed and we had dinner together. My housemates weren't in as Hermant was down to melbourne city and the others went over to a friend's house. I was considering whether to move over to the South Unit with Denise and Evon next semester. Tried talking to my mum, but she was on a flight to Ipoh to attend my cousin's wedding.

Denise came over in the evening to pass me back the bowls and brought the ice-cream she accumulated for me. So sweet of Tigger! =) Got back to my books again after that and was trying hard to concentrate because someone was a distraction and don't know why he was exceptionally hungry that night. From grilled stuff to milo and more, he still wasn't really full. Haha, it's good if he continues like this, he'll definitely put on some weight and will look better... Night was still continue studying till 4.30am before I slept.... Zzzzzz (-.-)

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Grad. Gown Photo-taking Day Missing "Catechism Class" & Saloon

Today was the grad. gown photo-taking day for student graduating sem1'04. There were not as many students graduating this june as compared to last year. Ha, I told Ph it was his wrong time to graduate, that's why so few other students... Anyway, I got up at round 12.30pm and dropped a msg to him telling him I was going to the com lab when I saw him from behind on the way to the lab. Wahh... so handsome in his graduation gown, but then again, most people look smart in their gowns. Cannot praise him too much else he'll become a worst "zhi lian kuang"!

We went around the campus with me helping him to take photos of him with friends and lecturers. It was one of the days where I looked the worst and bloated, but still had to take photos on that day. We even went all the way to the Monash signboard at the roundabout to take photos. Almost couldn't help laughing at the way a girl looked at him as he walk pass the com lab in the IT faculty, her eyes were totally fixed on him! Lucky he didn't notice, else he's gonna give me some look again. After that it was back to com lab again because the STUPID network in the residences is still not working! This time was one of the worse as it has been down for days already...

The evening was spent trying to read my lecture notes and contemplating whether to go for Catechism class or not. In the end, I guess I was just to lazy and wanted more time for studying. That's because I didn't want to feel guilty as I wanted to go the Saloon that night! =| What a "good" girl I am, hope god forgives me for some moments of playfullness... Drove to Saloon that night because it was cold and drizzling. Tried to get more studying done after I got home and bath at about 3am. But my eyes couldn't take it anymore and they were closing..Zzzzzzz.. (-_-)

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Home studying day, a little quarrel & visiting Lenore...

Somehow my body seems to be programmed to sleep at 3am and get up at 12.30pm each day. Today I was feeling exceptionally tired and my body was aching too. Yap, no doubts it was that time of the month again. Wasn't in good mood the whole day and still had to force myself to study. Shit I hate this time of the month cause my sometimes I don't feel like eating at all and at times I feel like eating alot. And this time round it was the second one! Probably put on a few pounds with the lunch and ice-cream so could't help but fell alseep at my desk...

It wasn't untill 4.30pm plus that I woke up to continue my studying. My thought as usual slowly strayed from my notes to what Ph and I were talking about last night. All the while I thought that he wanted to go back to s'pore to work and settle back down there. But his wish when he first came here was to try to get PR to work and settle in aussie land with his special someone. Sounded romantic, which was exactly what I had in mind too. But due to the many reasons he has, he couldn't do that. I couldn't help but thought of some ways to persuade him to stay on. It just really wasn't fair for the two of us to be seperated so soon, it was like such a pity... However nothing could change his plan cause his mind was already set.. Well, no use being sad or getting angry with him, some things are just meant to be I supposed...

Anyway, I was going mad staying in the house the whole day and someone called asking me to go over to get some fresh air. Seeing that I was sad, he comforted me a little. It didn't really help much because the fact was that he's still leaving no matter what. But it did feel better. I went over to find Lenore for a chat and told her some of my feelings. She had her own problems which I can't really help her much too. These kind of "matters of the heart" stuff is really frustrating at times. However we both told each other to "follow our hearts" and not to make sacrifices for any guy because It's just not worth it. And so I decided to stick with my initial decision to continue my Honours at the end of the year if it financially allows me to...

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Groceries Day, Com Lab Blogging, Study Night

I woke up before my alarm rang today cause of the pill again. Went to wash my clothes and gave a call to Ph at round 11.30am. Guess he was tired and so he said to meet at 12.30pm plus instead as he needed another 1/2 hour's sleep. I waited round 12.50pm and msgged him that Im going to foodworks myself when he knocked on my door. Heard him extending the date of his flight to July 5. When I asked him for reason, he said he just didn't want to rush right after coming back from Alice Springs and no other reason. Sometimes I can't help but feel he's really unfeeling and cold... Anyway since I told myself to not think so much, I try not to bother then...

We had lunch at the cafe in foodworks and later went to get some groceries and stuff. It was really a nice feeling of your BF having the patience to walk around with you while you get your things. My ex was always so impatient that I had phobia going out shopping or even doing some simple marketing with him. Afternoon was spent going to com lab to check my emails, edit my EMIT article and updating my blog. I was supposed to go home at 5pm to do some studying but the editing of my EMIT article took up extra two hours of my time because I decided to change the whole topic.

Reached home at round 7pm and was thinking about what to have for dinner when I realised I bought meat and veggies but forgot about rice or noodles to go with them. Msgged Ph that I felt so silly and he appeared behind my back with a packet of vermicilli, that was sweet of him. He will probably be happy if he sees this cause as usual he says I write "not-so-nice" things about him most of the time.. Haha... Tried to continue my studies at night but can't help missing someone a little, so I went over to find him for awhile. Had to admit that we are distractions to each other, so after awhile I decide to go home to study instead... slept at round 3am... +|